Friday, May 29, 2009

What To Do?

It has just been 2 days since I've done nothing else but surfing the net and look for jobs. I was so engrossed with it that I wasn't aware of the time. I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid, but I'm starting to worry if I don't get any jobs soon. I'll feel like a total loser.
Initially, I wanted to further my studies and take my Masters. I've been trying to do so since early Internship but my work always gets in the way. Alas, I missed most of the deadlines for this year's intake for the IPTAs. I was mad at myself for not grabing the chance at the right time. It took me a few hours to recover from that frustration. I hope to find some other places, maybe oversea. But for the mean time, it's so obvious I need a job to fill my time.
My anxiousness doesn't end there. Some of my classmates already got a job right after we finish our Internship. Others are catching up. Yes, people would say "everyone will get their chance, it's just a matter of time". Time. Such a word that sends a chill up my spine. >_<
Until now, I've went to the jobfair, send resumes, search online, went for interviews (almost, but we were rejected because we haven't received our transcript) and even applied for temporary teacher. And it'll probably be my main activity for the mean time.
Honestly, I've never worked before except for my Intership in Klang Hospital. So all this extra time I have at the moment really bugs. If there's any sugestions, comments and information regarding this dilemma I'm having, I would really, really appreciate it.
Thanks :)

Thursday, May 28, 2009


Love is such a strange feeling..

At times it makes a person feels like walking through the clouds. At other times, it could hurt so much like a stab straight into your heart. No matter how hurtful love can be when two souls are apart, they'll still hold on to it. With hopes that one day, they'll reunite again, as one.

That's how I felt all this while. A feeling I've anticipated long before we have to seperate, geographically. It gets even tougher when we are miles apart now. No more having breakfast together, seeing each others faces, going to movies, going to classes together.. all routines halted, and we have to realign our lives to a long distance relationship.

It was terrible at first. I hated to be so far away from him. But there's nothing I could do about it. As time pass, I regain my strength. Part of it is because I had my Internship, and another part of it is because he had helped me along the way as well. He came down to KL twice, once was a week after I came back here, and another one was in February, on my birthday. God knows how happy I was to see him. ^_^

So this time, after we've finished our Internship, it's suppose to be my turn to go Kuching.. But, things didn't work out the we planned. I couldn't go due to some circumstances. It was really hard, both for him and me. I just have to accept that I'll only be seeing him in August, during my convocation, adding another 3 months to see my beloved Boo.. I was so sad.. I felt even more terrible that I could not keep to my words..

When I thought that I just have to bear with in and be patience, my dearest Boo took the initiative. Since I couldn't go, he'll come to see me, in KL. I WAS SO HAPPY!! ^_^ He was so sweet!! Although it would cost him a lot, he put that aside. As long as we could meet, that's all that matters.. I really really appreciate it..

We had a wonderful holiday together, from 23rd till 26th May. Though it was short, it was the sweetest moments that I had with him. We made a point to cherish each waking moments we had together. It was really wonderful. I felt complete to have him by my side ~_^

I dreaded seperation. I was really bad at goodbyes. But somehow, this time, it was not as hard as how it use to be. I think I had mature a bit, and I had to thank him as well for making this long-distance relationship such a positive thing for us. Thank you Sham ~_^

I'm looking forward to see him again, insyaAllah in another 3 months time..
To my dearest boo, I will always love you and miss you so much.. (^.^)

Tamek windu n cayang kitak besha gilak!